It's been more than a week. Because,
1) I have nothing to blog about.
2) I don't have the time to blog.
3) I do not have the consciousness to blog.
Have been feeling lethargic these days so when I don't have to go out, I'll probably end up sleeping the entire afternoon away. It might be due to those activities at night though, since regardless of whether they exist I still sleep at 3-4am these days. And may I say, rehearsals are getting on my nerves, screwing up my entire schedule and leaving almost no way out for me. It's so damn !@#$%&*!@#. Like taking more advantage when priority is already offered. With other stuff like camp and driving, I have so little days available for work now, like only weekends??!
My issue here is, same amount of things to do, but more days taken. I have asked before about putting rehearsals on the same days as driving to keep my other days potentially available for work. So what's with the change to every Monday and Tuesday in addition to the upcoming increase in frequencies in July? Cause of my three-day camp? That would be unnecessary. It's just out to suck me dry, espcially when I've already kept all the July Wednesdays you're telling me you want Tuesdays instead and now both days are occupied! Plus which do you want to have for a third day? I feel like I have to cancel all my Friday lessons, if work is scheduled. But by then it's very unlikely to have slots for me to make up the lessons and it's definitely unwise to do the cancellation and rescheduling now. What if you tell me you want Friday then. I'll be wasting my efforts and cancellation counts; since I can't work a later lesson timing would be ideal.
I just hate to be spending time on things that aren't worth it. This further reminds me of the money bombed on transport as well due to the worthless responsibility I've assumed. What's worse, people are just going through the motions when they're asking for comments/opinions/feedback. Why can't they just cut me some slack and save my time for me since i) you probably already know what you want, hence ii) you can't really be bothered with what I said/am going to say. I'm not trying to make things go MY way, and I'm not asking you to consult me in the first place but I believe I'm at least entitled to nice, albeit politically correct replies instead of being unanswered/being told that you're not conviced it's necessary. I may not give the best comments/opinions/feedback but at least I share my thoughts and I respect others' decisions on how they want things to be. Therefore I certainly do not need to be asked just for the sake of letting me be involved - on the surface, only to get more annoyed and frustrated with this entire production, because I don't feel respected and I have to go through the motions as well. Like smiling at the appropriate moments? I don't feel amused or happy. In fact going through the motions is part of going through the motions as well.
In conclusion, I want my life back. I feel that I can do anything else, anything but hall-related stuff. I'm spending extra on them and they are still eating into my means of obtaining the capital to spare, be it time or money. In Chinese, 得寸进尺. My reluctance is building up incessantly.