Update

My stalker fan #1 says I'm not updating as frequently. Told her my lack of updates is to prevent too much boring content (i.e. hall stuff related) from flooding my entire blog. I am here now my fan! Quick switch yourself to the highest speed, the weather's really warm. =X *tags Koh Seok Xian*

Well, she accompanied me back to MJC to collect my long awaited SGC! And then we went to visit our CCA. That was why I chose a Wednesday. Mr Gan intro-ed us as the "前前" (meaning ex-ex-) batch. Sounds old. T_T The kids were split into two groups, one being those going for exchange in HK, probably this year's cast, and the other doing the support for the trip, and probably other adhoc activities like MM since actors are busy people, or generally the untouchables. That's the case for the CCA I guess, considering I was often busy. But it's the happy kind of busy, unlike now. Rehearsals are extremely taxing and time consuming, but nonetheless enjoyable. I still remember memorizing lines in the garden, the sunset... And the space we always create in the classroom by shifting the furniture to the sides. Looking at those juniors today, I was filled with envy. They may not understand why, they may not have the enthusiasm, but I really wished I was doing what they were doing.

Nostalgia, I guess. Going to a once familiar place, talking about things related to the past, even seeing people that you've left behind to the past. At least I know it's okay to have left ATS, the situation now seems bad. The ever-supportive Laoshi mentioned about helping me get to Dramabox. I wonder if it's for real, and I wonder if I'm ready/can be prepared for it. Haven't acted in a long while... I don't feel I can do it again. Maybe backstage? But how? Hmm I should KIV first. It does seem impossible now anyway, with all the other commitments I have and cannot let go of.

I still feel sad. The recess week isn't helping. The rashes aren't going away, and I've decided not to get the medicine as far as possible. It's best not to rely on drugs, tiring in fact. Going to hall tomorrow already, there's seniors' camp and there are stuff that I was told to get. I refuse to use the word return/back every time, because I feel that isn't where I'm suppose to belong. In fact it's just killing me bit by bit. I really hate/am lazy to reply sms-es now, to an extent I've never encountered before, and checking emails, hehe, it might be a good thing to have no emails for you to open.

And do I need to mention, that in the month of March, I have 5 tests, 1 assignment and 3 presentations to handle? And I foresee the Physics problem set that requires submission coming up too. I'm prepared for NONE OF THEM. Not to mention that working as crew at W!ldrice is happening in the third week. I want-ED to go, but I wasn't thinking or in my best state of mind. What's best, Prometheus rehearsals are starting off with lines reading towards end of March too. Looks like it'll be the last week. Fuck.

I should get out of this self-depression and make use of whatever little time I have now. At the same time, pray hard for no disruptions. Maybe I should throw my phone away. But I'll die without my laptop and M1 modem. T_T Help.